Animals in All Caps are Feminists

STOP TELLING ME TO ‘CHECK MY PRIVILEGE’ AND LISTEN TO WHAT I’M SAYING! WE’RE SUPPOSED TO HAVE SOLIDARITY AS WOMEN! IT’S THIS KIND OF PETTY INFIGHTING AMONGST POCS AND WHITES THAT PREVENTS US FROM MAKING PROGRESS IN THE FACE OF GENDER-SPECIFIC INSTITUTIONAL OPPRESSION! WE CAN’T WORRY ABOUT HOW DIFFERENT RACES EXPERIENCE THE TYRANNY OF THE PATRIARCHY! OUR OPINIONS AND SUFFERING ARE DIFFERENT BUT THEY ARE ALL EQUALLY VALID! IT’S ONLY MEN’S OPINIONS THAT DON’T MATTER! YOU HAVE TO SEE THAT!
* http://animalstalkinginallcaps.tumblr.com/post/12624915191/stop-telling-me-to-check-my-privilege-and-listen

THANK YOU FOR YOUR OPINION REGARDING MY EYELINER, BUT LET ME EXPLAIN A COUPLE THINGS TO YOU:

1. I DON’T WEAR IT FOR YOU, NOR DO I PICK OUT MY OUTFITS BASED ON WHAT I THINK MEN WILL LIKE. YOUR CONSTANT OGLING HAS NO BEARING ON MY DECISION TO FLATTER MY FIGURE OR ENHANCE MY NATURAL FEATURES WITH BEAUTY PRODUCTS. THAT IS YOUR GENDER’S CONSTANT MISGUIDED PERCEPTION.

2. YOU DON’T LIKE “WOMEN WHO DON’T WEAR MAKEUP.” YOU LIKE WOMEN WHO ARE WEARING CONCEALER AND BARE ESCENTUALS FOUNDATION CAREFULLY BLENDED INTO THEIR NECKLINE, CHEEKS TINTED LIGHTLY WITH SOFT ROSY CREAM BLUSH, EYESHADOW ONE SHADE DARKER THAN THEIR FOUNDATION, EYELASHES DOTTED WITH GREY PENCIL AND LIPS THAT HAVE BEEN ENHANCED WITH A LIGHT BERRY GLOSS.

THAT’S PROBABLY $200 WORTH OF CREAMS AND POWDERS AND TAKES MORE TIME TO APPLY THAN YOUR ENTIRE ‘SHIT, SHOWER AND SHAVE’ ROUTINE, ALL SO ASSHOLES LIKE YOU CAN TALK ABOUT ‘NATURAL BEAUTY’ WHILE WE’RE WAITING FOR A DAMNED BUS.

3. EVEN IF I HONESTLY CARED ABOUT YOUR AMATEUR MAKEUP CRITIQUES I WOULDN’T IN A MILLION YEARS GO OUT WITH YOU BECAUSE YOU’RE AN IGNORANT, BALDING FASHION CASUALTY WITH NOODLE ARMS AND A BEER GUT WHO CAN’T KEEP HIS EYES OR OPINIONS TO HIMSELF.

IF YOU KEEP TALKING TO ME I’M GOING TO SHOVE YOUR SANDALS UP YOUR ASS AND YOU CAN WADDLE HOME IN YOUR SOCKS.

* http://animalstalkinginallcaps.tumblr.com/post/11851340713/thank-you-for-your-opinion-regarding-my-eyeliner